"For a moment she actually wondered if I was being serious, but then I smiled at her with my eyes, turning on that old boyish charm of mine, and seein... her smile back with her own, adding a bit of color to her cheeks as she did. "Ah, that way you get to see us at our best," she actually did grin then."And their worst too!" I told her, "When they first go in, that way I have a much better idea of how they really look." In the morning no doubt, afterwards..." Mattie said surprising me a little. People were starting to suffer from the cold and game was harder to find.John was considered the best hunter. He had abandoned his rifle to a place on his mantle along with its remaining ammunition in favor of a long bow. He talked with Todd at length about bows and building them. His bow required a lot of strength to pull but he could shoot an arrow accurately over a hundred yards. His hunting was not as successful as it had been during the summer and fall but he still had more success than. I tossed it away, suddenly not feeling nonchalant or superior, but just as scared and unbelieving as the scared, naked kid who lay there staring up at me."Oh, Jeez, sis!" he whispered, kind of hoarse-sounding. "Oh, Jeez!"As if his awe were a spur, I stiffened and fumbled at another button on my dress. Loosened, it gave the flimsy garment just enough freedom to start sliding again. A fraction of an inch at a time, the swell of my hips came in view--and the broad, sweet curve of my lower belly.. The part of me that managed to remain detached wondered at this sudden eroticism in the face of violence, for I have never been the type to derive any sort of pleasure at all from the pain of animals, although there are many in my circle of acquaintances who do. But the mezcal and the sweet weed were evidently tapping something inside me that had remained hidden up till then, something primitive and bestial, an ancient sexuality that was tied to life and death in a way we moderns can scarcely.
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