“Please tell me they have been sent to the wrong address,” I say hopefully, but Kelly just shakes her head and hands me the flowers, her eyes full...of delight. Thankfully, unlike me, she doesn’t know who these bloody flowers are from and assumes I have some secret admirer from work or something, if she only knew she’d be crying just like me. I shoot her a serious look but she ignores me and bursts into giggles, jumping up and down girlishly. “Oh Beth, he’s got it bad, three bouquets in one week!. Height, build, etc. I couldn't leave the profile picture blank. I thought out loud. "Fuck it," I said to myself.I took off my shirt, revealing my scrawny figure and changed my pants to basketball shorts. I went to the bathroom to take a selfie. After I took that selfie, I chose two pictures of me already in my phone that I thought was at least presentable."These'll do," I shrugged and said.Meanwhile, a few hours later, I'm in the main chat room having a good time, when a direct message blinked. Men will get it the first time.Water in the carburetorWIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous"WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?WIFE: "In the river"This is a frightening statistic!25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.That's scary. It means 75% are running around untreated.A. "I waited two days then had three local wagons bring three of my ceramic chests. The consort was not around to receive them so I put them in the hands of an official and left. Nobody could open the chests unless they used a lot of force and this would destroy the contents.It was four days later that a messenger found me and gave me an invitation to a party. Perhaps they wanted the combinations to open the chests.I accepted and an hour after the appointed time, I arrived in a rental carriage..
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