“Before I leave, I’ll bring it in here so you can check the batteries and clean the lens. There are at least three lens, maybe even four if I reme...ber correctly ... Anyway, for today, I want you to use that Polaroid Camera and make some nude photographs of Savita and myself. Then, I want some made of Savita and me hugging and kissing. She just confessed to me, she loves the way you kiss and I told her I do too.”I picked up the camera and both of them stood smiling at me when I looked their way.. Usually an hour in the fresh air and sunshine. That is unless it was raining. Then we got a poncho made from a garbage bag. But any time outside was fine. It gave you a break from the noise of the jailhouse. Which was constant, loud, and vulgar.I was sitting in the common room of the pod watching an incomprehensible tv show. It seemed to be about various groups of people arguing about the parentage of an infant child. Apparently, it involved screaming and yelling, calling other people names and. Choice, however, was not an option for me. This arrow,this cruel shaft, by foul means, had inverted the way I experienced thisman. This man, that filled me with revulsion such a short while ago, nowelicited excited passions in me. Now I was at war with myself.I clasped my eyes, gritted my teeth and turned my head away falling tothe ground. I needed to extinguish these thoughts that had been placedin me by the ways of darkness. Averting my gaze from him I hoped todistance myself from what he was. Both of our sets of parents were slowly but surely separating, and both Josh and I were paradoxically desperate to assert our independence from them by mimicking the very expressions of rebellion they had taught us. We listened to Neil Young and Bob Dylan. We wore tie-dyes. We read On the Road and The Prophet. When Josh and I started going out I felt that I had been delivered from my isolation, my uncoolness, and my family. It did not occur to me that I got the ideas for my outfits from.
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