Sometimes, the oddest thoughts come into your head at the oddest times. I was to learn this more and more forcefully over the next year. ‘You better...shtop right derr,’ my mother roared, swinging the lamp. It left a nice divot in the wall. I was hovering indecisively in the kitchen doorway, still reluctant to defend myself. But then I thought, who the hell am I kidding? This … woman wielding the lamp is not my mother. She’s not the woman who used to giggle with me over the funny pages when I was. She willingly accepted my help with her assignments at university and took my advice on most other things. We did things together and it was mostly me who decided what we did. But one incident in our lives will stay with me until the day I die. We had been together a couple of years and it was a few days before my birthday. We were catching a bus to go to a George Shearing concert. Lue stepped in front of me and paid our fare to the bus driver. I was mortified. We took our seat. ‘Don’t you ever. I told her I was going to cum and she surprised me by taking it on the face, but she got some in one of her eyes. I didnt know but that can sting the eyes. So that had brought this to an end and I helped her cleanup. I want to do this some more she said as I opened the side door to let her out. A few days later when my neighbour and I cant keep referring to her as that, so Ill call her Jenn. Jenn came to me and said shed like to talk to me about everything and maybe we could do it over brunch. "I crawled over and cuddled in beside her with my head on her chest. She was warm and soft, with her unique smell I have always associated with love. I started crying, short little sobs that did little to calm the guilt I felt."Now tell me; what happened?"I started slowly, telling her about the incident in the showers, and after that I said something about wishing it had been someone else that touched me. From there, I confessed to having these feelings way back in sixth and seventh grade,.
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