"Laura's Toes is certainly my favorite, but I was thinking more along the lines of a vibrating dildo. One of those new three-speed babies. Fast. Slow....Ho-ho-ho!"Santa nodded sagely. "Good idea. And batteries to go with, right?" Of course," Mrs. Claus confirmed. "What good's a vibrating dildo without batteries? So that settles that—one of the new Unicorn Hummers." But wait," Santa said, examining the stock. "What color? Seems they come in silver and gold." Oh, that's right," said Mrs. Claus.. ”I stared for a second and laughed. “We assisted the FBI? They refused to give us any help and told us we were on our own, then they came in at the end of it all and tried to snatch it all up!”She smiled at me. “So, we’ve been told. We couldn’t do an in-person interview with your Chief Crowley, but we were able to get a very nice Skype segment with Scott in New York. The District Attorney, I guess he’s a U.S. Attorney now, gave us plenty of background and information when Scott interviewed him. There were all of those magazines that insisted a girl got un-ending pleasure out of sex. There were some things she liked about doing it—mainly the kissing—but there were parts of it that seemed downright boring. You were supposed to enjoy yourself, but she hadn't. Of course that had been sex wtithout love. It was probably different when you actually had affection for the boy.She drew a breath and put that out of her mind. Her aunt had left her a series of pamphlets, each one about a different. . “I thought you were the responsible one?”“I am ... never had a lick of trouble over periods. What would I need ovulation control for?” I pondered a minute, counted days in my head and didn’t like the result ... so I counted on my fingers. Same damn result. “Feel my forehead,” I requested.He did. “You’re warm.”“Shit!”“What?”“Exactly halfway between periods.”“I wasn’t planning on being a Daddy,” he said.“I wasn’t planning on being a mom,” I said. “How many times?”“What?”“Did I surrender to your.
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