"Can I tell you a secret, girlfriend?" Brianna said, acting demur."Always, Bri," Trista said, "Always." Well, have you ever smoked weed?" Brianna said..."Yeah, but not for a while," Trista said, "'You got some?"Which delighted Brianna!"Yeah," Brianna said, "'Wanna smoke while we have some wine?"Brianna's comment made it clear that she wanted some wine and she was happy to see that Trista didn't even flinch.While Trista poured two glasses of wine in the kitchen, Brianna loaded and lit her pop. She looked at me, with pleading in her black, shiny eyes. "Bill, he kick me out," she said in a soft voice. "I got no place to go so I hide here." Why did he kick you out?" He t'ink I fuck Alvin Monson," she whispered."Did you?"Before she looked down, I thought I caught a glimpse of a little smile. "Yes." she murmured. "Bill, he old man. Alvin, he young man. Young man better fuck than old man."Well, that made sense. I gave her the threadbare towel that came with the room and a bar of soap from. I said out loud that we have company and don't want to get caught fucking around. She got up and said in a loud voice that she was going to make coffee for the guys. We both looked out and they were back at work with what ever they were suppose to be doing. I told Jan just wear your long tee shirt with nothing under it. It came down to her knees almost like a nighty. Jan went out on the deck and asked the guys if there wanted coffee and I would have bet the house that they would. They said they. The shame you feel after hurting yourself to cope is difficult to deal with and I’ll be honest and say that the shame sometimes made me feel so bad that I actually harmed myself twice in the space of a few minutes. The term vicious cycle has been used to describe self-harm. I completely agree. It’s exactly the right term to use. You feel bad, you cut. You feel bad about cutting, you start to feel worse. And you cut again. And it keeps on going, and going, and going... It’s very hard to.
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