”The man says, “Will that give me longer to live?”The doc replies, “No, but it’ll certainly seem longer.”“My missus dumped me ‘cos she...says I’m too obsessed with football,” said the first fella.“How long have you been with her?” asked the second fella.“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “Horrible,” he says. “They’re always yelling and screaming. I hate how they constantly pound on the walls. He longed to be there snuggling with her, her red hair mussed and tickling his nose. Just the thought of her hair did things to his body that made him want to plunge himself deep into her slit.‘Damn I got it bad, what the hell am I going to do?’ Dusty’s thoughts remained on his best friend’s wife a few minutes more before he fell asleep. Dusty was an attractive sort but not your average stud. He stood just under six feet and his body, though fit, was not a mass of chiseled muscles. His dirty. “You smell really good for that much of a workout.”“I’ve been here several hours, ” Béla explained. “I let you snack, but then I had to clean up a bit. I brought you inside and gave you a bath, too.”Jolene grinned. “Thanks.”Then she jerked her head around, wildly searching as she remembered…“Those men!” Jolene cried out. “They tried to kill me!”“They’re gone, ” Béla said, her voice still soft. “They won’t hurt you anymore.”“But… but, ” Jolene tried to say, “What happened to those men? I saw. You see, my little 5 feet 2 inch petite doll has the nicest ass I’ve ever seen. I love sliding my eight inches between her ass-crack. The trouble is, she only takes it up the ass about once a year. The rest of the time it’s straight vaginal sex with some fairly good blow jobs thrown in. So, our Super Bowl bet was unique, whoever’s team was ahead at half time got to pick our private half time entertainment. Linda knew that if the Broncos were behind at halftime she was in for an ass.
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