" "Michael, I'm so confused. I love you so much and I'm afraid I'm pushing you away. I don't want to lose you, but I need to do this. This is the life...I want, but I want it with you." "We're both trying to work it out. We're talking now. That will help." "I'm so glad I came out here." "I am, too." "Would you like to hear the rest of Ruth's email?" "Yes." I kissed Jeanne again and then I sat down on the edge of the bed. Jeanne started reading again. " 'I'm beginning to understand Jeanne's new. Later on, she would have no idea how long she had sat there crying, her brain had temporarily shut down when Eli’s had stopped permanently…and then there was the prayer that she had shared with the dying Brother Eli, she couldn’t explain that either. She understood that women were not worthy of leading prayer inside of a church, they were to remain silent and obedient in God’s house. She’d been taught that since birth. She may have remained there for an hour, indeed, she couldn’t have sworn. Somehow the computer continued to operate, without any power connection. Weird.There didn't seem to be anything else I could do, so I went around to my chair at looked at the program. The original screen was gone and now there was one that had a graphic window, with the title 'Design Your Ideal Woman'.In the window was something that looked a lot like a naked Barbie doll. Along the left side was a lot of switches and drop down menus. I clicked on the one that said breasts and a menu dropped. I'd also had my very first cock sucking experience with a Mexican guy who had worked for my parents briefly!I was under no illusions that these Mexican and Nicaraguan guys actually 'liked' me (though they 'liked' it when I sucked them off). Our two worlds had so much acrimony; so much shameful treatment by we gringos; so much economic and military interferences; that there was little hope of ever assuaging any of that! Nevertheless, each and every time that I knelt on my living room carpet, and.
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