I hope I don’t do somethin’ to get the others shot.“I sure wish I could see Little Deer like I used to. I know that would make me feel better, j...st knowin’ she was still lookin’ down on me. I reckon I’ll go back to camp now. I feel some better after talkin’ to you, but I still hurt. I hope you don’t hurt no more, Mary,” Eli was talking in his soft voice, not even realizing he was speaking aloud, as he thought about Mary. He looked around to see if any of the others had heard him.He walked back. It was certainly not as good as the real thing, but it did leave me feeling closer to him and I slept soundly.The next morning I slept late. I didn't have plans and decided to spend the morning with a good book. After washing my face I brewed a pot of coffee. The doorbell rang as I was heading back to the bedroom. I slipped into a robe and went to the door. It was a delivery guy with a dozen roses. I accepted them and ran like a schoolgirl to the bedroom to read the card."I wish I were there to. My mind felt cleansed, my heart felt cleansed and my body felt cleansed. I could think straight again and I couldn't feel any pain. I no longer had any self loathing or desire to die all I wanted to do was take this moment and bring these c***dren that I had pushed away for so long back into my life. I sat up and I wrapped my arms around my son and I hugged him tightly. I whispered in his ear "Luke, Tonight when your father came home I prayed for God to end this for me. I meant for God to. Unfortunately, the profile lying next to me was that of my sailing partner, John.The beach I was on continued for at least a mile. Amazingly fine sand lay underneath my towel. Crystal clear water lapped at the shore line. It was an incredible place and it rivaled many of the other places I had visited.John and I had hiked along the trail in the woods. John had been in a hurry to reach the sandy shore, but I had been more intent on studying the flora around me. Wild flowers bloomed, a narrow.
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