"East," I says, "Where's the fucking railway?" "There," says Al, pointing, "Fuck we're fucking miles from our place!" "Can you run in those wellies?" ... asked, "Because it will be fucking light soon and no way do I want any fucker seeing me dressed like this!" "Too right," Al says, "Come on!" and we legged it. We managed a hundred yards or so, "Me ankles!" I complained. "Me nuts are freezing!" Al complained, "How the fuck do birds manage?" "They don't have nuts?" I suggested. "Fucking clever. I need the both of you to get dressed, and I want you in the car in ten minutes.”It seems like Mom is in a big hurry. She spots the bruise below Emma’s left eye, and she clearly isn’t happy. Mom drags my sister into the washroom, and she shows her how to apply makeup. I take three minutes to dress into my good clothes, and I comb my hair. Mom gives me one of Dad’s old ties, and she practically pushes my sister and I out the door. Mom’s perfect little family.“I can’t believe that my little baby. So I’m sure you can add a fair amount of moaning, a few choice words … “Oooooo” and “Fuck me, baby” being particular favourites of hers … and perhaps the occasional screamed “Oh God” as her quivering, bucking body approaches its climactic peak. Was Jimmy delighted to have pretty Pippa of the perfect arse so obviously in need of some loving attention already draped across their bed? No. Not in the slightest. Instead Jimmy did his impression of Zeus descending from Mount Olympus; all. The next day was when my surprise party was to come together for him. Later that day, after the party I found out he had wanted to “surprise” me on his drive. We did not connect the dots, so we both had lost out on the "what could have been" drive. The next day my surprise for him came together, which was a cousin that he had not seen for over 20 years. When our “long lost” cousin arrived at my aunt’s home, I made him take me over there for the surprise greeting. We spent the next few.
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