”I said, “You sound like my grandmother discussing the strengths of a dictatorship. If everyone is afraid of the same thing, that unifies them. I�...�m sorry. It’s one thing to have natural fears. And I understand the need for law and order. But when something is forced on you, where’s the choice? Where’s the act of learning from your mistakes if you’re too afraid to make them? I didn’t run away when I found out the girls I had fantasized about were affected by that. I did things that made me sick. They'd lived with me for eight months by the time Delilah gave me the news that they'd rented an apartment over in Victorville. I knew it had mostly been Bridget's idea that they leave. Bridget had been insecure with our little arrangement, fearing that Delilah and I were getting to be too close to each other. Delilah had played into those fears by sneaking into my bedroom on some nights when she and Bridget were supposed to be sleeping alone in Bridget's guest bedroom. I think it was a game. “Oh, that can’t be” She protested. “Maybe not, but I just want you to know, as long we have an open line of communication like we have in the past, we can work through this” I reassured her. We let the subject drop right there for now.I needed to go to a golf meetup today. (More business stuff, sigh, it’s a rough life, but someone’s gotta do it. I mused to myself) I came back home in the early afternoon and Freda and Anthony were busy in the upstairs office again. Once again I slipped into my. " It was that day that Alan asked Julie to meet him for dinner one night. Juliehesitated for just a moment and then said yes. She set it for a night thatshe knew John would be out of town and arranged for her kids to stay at hersister's house that night. Alan took Julie to a Thai restaurant at Fortieth and Chestnut Streets. Hisfavorite, he said. They talked all during dinner. Of course, they had beentalking for months at this point over their snacks at the cancer center, butthis was different,.
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