She knew many of the stories and legends that surrounded this man. But none of them made mention of a woman in his life. She suddenly realised why he ...eemed to be withdrawing from her. As she thought to herself, almost laughing, ‘you great shy oaf’, she managed to say. ‘What you did Emerald Heart was far more than was called for by duty. How could I possibly repay you.’ She felt her heart beat faster as she thought of one way she could repay him. But already he was starting to mumble more. I stand at the curbside then step out into the road. BANG. I wake with a jolt, chest heaving, my body glistening in cold icy sweat. 'Fricking stress dream.' I tell myself. Beth hasn't stirred. Her forehead pressed against my neck, lips touching my shoulder, breathing across my collarbone. On my back her knee is across mine, her hand resting down the front of my panties, fingers in my soft curls. The morning sun is shining behind the red curtains turning the room scarlet.I manage to slide out. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.“Hanging myself,” the blond replies.“It should be around your neck” says the guard.“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe”.( This one actually makes sense ... well, sort of... )An Italian tourist asks a blond man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”To which the blond man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A guy is walking along Whyte. Ok, pal. They arrive at the studio about three thirty-five. He gets out and walks throw the door and to the counter. Hello, the woman at the counter says. I’m here for the three thirty tour, I won the ksyt stupid contest. Oh they just left, but you can catch them if you go throw that door and take the first right, and she hands him a tag. He puts it on and goes the throw the door. Throw the doors and take first left he thinks to himself. He takes the left he comes to and walks until he comes to.
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