"Dan, did you get the 'WIll you love me if I'm just normal?' speech?" Oh yeah," my guy said. "From the girl who graduated from high school two years e...rly." And an ACT two points higher than mine," Cindy added. "Stop worrying, Nikki. It won't change a thing. Last year did you even imagine in your wildest daydreams that you'd be here?"I had this same conversation with Dan many times and the answer was always the same. Cindy's right. Dan's right. And he was happy with me when I was just a high. Then my right hand started fiddling with the front of my t-shirt, then lightly touching my boobs. A minute later it was wandering down to my crotch. When I realized I was actually considering touching myself with my son asleep right next to me ... up against me even, I shook my head in disgust with myself. A big load of guilt fell down from the sky and onto my shoulders. I felt like an incredibly guilty pervert. But even that didn't make me change the channel.I waited, and the guilt passed. A. It’s big news round here as I guess you ladies already know. But some of the other guys will fill you in. Wait here. I’ll see who I can find.”It was Inspector Matthew Papadopoulos who escorted us into a quiet office that was reserved for just this kind of discussion to describe what had been found and what had been determined from the evidence. It was evident that he’d had to do something like this many times before. Even though it was Inspector Mark Evans who’d actually attended the scene of. I locked the door and ignoredher and tried to forget she was down there, to convince myself I hadimagined the whole thing. It didn't work. She's resilient, and can survivewith very little. And I couldn't forget, not completely. She was at theback of my thoughts constantly, at work, in my sleep. A dull pounding, myvery own telltale heart beating out the same three words over and over:let me out. Let me out. Let me out. Eating dinner with my parents, andthey ask, how have you been? Let me out..
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