I found myself loving the attention and surprised myself when I un-buttoned the top two buttons my blouse before I left the bathroom to show off my cl...avage. I would go back to the party and notice right away the guys stealing glances. I felt good and very relaxed. I needed this with the other crappy things happening to me. I didn’t hurt either that usually I had too much to drink. “Getting a bit drunk and talking with hot young guys wasn’t so bad,” I thought to myself. We went out like this. Ash stayed with me the rest of the day, wherever I went. She knew what my sister meant to me, and I knew what she meant to her. Right now, the person we each loved most was in critical condition. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves. When I was strong enough, I lost the wheelchair, and I just paced her room, the waiting room, anywhere. I couldn’t sit still. I volunteered to run errands for people. I needed to do something, or the grief would catch up to me and send me into a spiral. Ash was. Despite his pleas, I made Steve drop me off at my house and go home, I am hoping alone but I guess I’ll never really know. Rich got home around 4am with breakfast and asked how the bar was. He could tell I had been drinking because I turn bright red with the smallest sip of alcohol and I was still a little intoxicated. I giggled and told him fun, but left out the details. I knew he’d ask some of the people there if we all had fun and since I didn’t do anything but a few body shots, I knew it. I decided to go out for a jog while we waited. I was seven blocks from the site when a familiar car drove by and turned into a motel parking lot. The big dent in the rear bumper told me immediately it was Jane. I jogged by the lot and turned down the other side the next building. I came out next to the dumpster, she was parked in front of a room at the back of the motel. After a short spell another familiar car pulled in a few spaces down. Jane and Doug both got out and almost ran into the room.
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