A growing portion of my life was spent in the field: startups, turnarounds, and trouble shooting the integration of new controls and technology to WWI... era plants and refineries.Living in motels, out of a suitcase, and only eating restaurant meals was getting old and unhealthy fast. CT offered a per diem, or an expense account, for my onsite costs. The per diem rates hadn't been adjusted lately and didn't meet current prices. The expense account should have been a break-even deal, but had me. I wanted to fuck him so badly that day. Sometimes just the way he would look at me made me feel a burning inside. He would look at my lush lips as if he was envisioning them sucking him off. Very often doing this at the most inappropriate times being totally distracting, and making my lust for him grow even stronger. I wondered if he knew what kind of effect he always had on me and just how much I really wanted him. I certainly would never tell him as no matter what his reaction might be it. It got worse when hejust walked away from me when I was crying. He used to wipe the tearsaway from my face and comfort me. The worse is, he does not want hiswallet back. That wallet is over 10 years old, and has seen better days.It is the first gift I bought him, and he holds onto it for sentimentalreasons. It makes him think of me when he sees it. That is why he did notget a new one. That is why I was wrong for taking it from him. I made himhand over a symbol of my love to him. . But why?She was experiencing all of the emotions she had come to love and hate more strongly than ever now. She was torn - she had developed a trust that he had never compromised, but that still didn’t make this easy for her. She heard a sound?like air rushing through a tube. She could not visualize what he was doing but her mind was racing. Then there were a couple of ?click? like the sound of butane lighter. Then she heard his voice in the darkness. ?Do you remember our discussion a.
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