I remembered how jealous I would become when she’d refer to one of her other male friends as “Joey” or “Kevy” (always a diminutive form, nev...r “Joe” or “Kevin” and liked to watch me rage inside as she’d talk about how cute he was. I realized just then, with the knowledge of my decades-older current self that Ruth was not merely trying to get a reaction from me, or even be cruel. She was goading me into action. She wanted me to just grab her and kiss her instead of retreating inside my head like. Beneath the mascara I see the eyes of the true believer. I see change, I see death and I see a rebirth. Gone is the man I was. Gone forever. As simple as that. I can see him, but he's a fading ghost.. Is this who I am? Am I really gay? Could I really be this cum stained faggot? Why does just thinking the word 'faggot' make me a little horny? You know why? I know why, its because I AM a faggot and I feel great!Leaning into the mirror I see a little blemish at the corner of my mouth. My first. The taxicab disappeared from view. Meanwhile, I had suffer through more name calling. Other men came over to stare at me and to feel my body all over. One of them walked right up to me, and grabbed at my crotch, while trying to kiss me with a beery, smoky mouth. At that moment, a taxicab pulled up next to me, and Mistress got out. "That's enough...get in," Mistress said in a dominating tone. "Sissy Whore belongs to me." Mistress then took me by the arm and helped me into the cab. I was. I sat there only a few feet from the famous man with all of this time-warped knowledge and my tongue was still because there was no point in revealing the truth of the matter.I did my best not to make eye contact with the man because I sensed he had this ability to sense danger and to see beneath the surface to get to the core of the issue whatever it might be. Perhaps I was too cautious because he came over to my table and introduced himself leaving out the title of “General”.At that.
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