”“Okay, call it a penalty then.”“I don’t think so,” she said, and thrust the money at me again.“Sorry, Mom. Call it interest, call it a ...enalty, call it a ‘valuable life lesson’ if you want, but I’m not taking it back. It’s yours.”“Paul, we’re not going to—”“Then let me buy you dinner while you’re in New York City,” I said. “Give the money to Dad and tell him to take you to the best restaurant in town.”“Thank you,” she said at last, graciously. “I’m sure we’ll enjoy it.”I called Kendall early. I couldn't help but wonder who I was, what Iwas... and who and what I wanted to be.Knock, knock - Erika rapped on the door, "You alright in there, hun?"Startled out of my trance, "Yeah, I'm fine," I replied."Then get in the darn shower."I took one last quick look at the girl in the mirror and began todisrobe. Knowing how I had always enjoyed taking off my "dainties" inthe mirror, I avoided their siren song. I focused on getting undressedand into the shower. I unsnapped my skirt and let it. "I know I can't allow myself to do that because I don't need it anymore than you do, but I do love you dearly as a friend. A very dear friend," I assured her as I lightly ran my hand over her cheek. We stood there talking for several minutes. She was still wearing her dress but I was, as I had been the entire time since she arrived, totally nude. When we turned to walk to the bed I began to tug upward at her dress, silently indicating my desire for her to take it off. She obliged me and we laid. Instead he was on the road and, after four months of hitch hiking and sleeping mainly outdoors, he ended up in the drug capital of Canada on the west coast.Winter was coming and this was a reasonable place to spend the winter. He joined the small army of similar young people (and others not so young) panhandling and collecting saleable items from the trash dumpsters. It wasn't much fun but he was surviving.Sometime during that period Bill realized that what he had done was wrong, terribly.
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