I'd been hesitant getting out of bed this morning. I'd been hesitant when I spoke to the girl at the hotel front desk to extend my stay for a few more...days. I felt ... rudderless. Drifting. Dreaming.The man sat back in his chair and looked at me for a few minutes. There was a look on his face like he was evaluating me. Finally, he spoke."Can I offer you a drink? Whiskey, maybe?" he offered. "Oh, wait. That's right. Rory said you don't drink. Coffee, then? Tea?" No," I replied softly. I was on. Shall we go?"Jessica and Sandra were just arriving at the bottom of the stairs asthey were leaving. This meant a slight delay as Sally had to say helloand goodbye to them.They caught a bus to the railway station and arrived with half hour tospare."I take it that Michelle and Emma will be ready to go, when we arrive?"asked Anne."They do have school, but they'll be back home and changed by the timewe arrive," said Sally.After a quick stop at a newsagent to buy some magazines, they went tothe. To turn, to maybe blush, anawkward moment, maybe more, but then it's over. Just a little step totake. A little one.I step.I lay a hand above his heart. I feel its heavy beat underneath my palm. Ismell a tang, a long day in the sun, the salt air, a smell of musk. He'sholding still now, watching. I trace a little circle with my palm,another. I feel how firm his muscles are, and how he fills his skin,almost to bursting, tracing my widening circles on his chest, and now hisstomach. His shirt has. I never wanted to have to tell my husband about my dreams, never wanting to face my shame and guilt out loud, especially to Steve. I could never admit to what the faceless man did to me in the darkness of night, in the most secret parts of my mind, where he always waited for me,knowing that i would come to him, and where he would take all that he wanted from me, his will was strong, my body was weak, and in that dark, unfriendly part of my mind, he became my master and i his servant. I could.
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