Amy’s words echoed through Ryan’s mind. ‘Only cause you saw me practically naked, and I feel sorry for you.’ She had said. ‘Did she honestly...have no idea how goddamn gorgeous she was?’ Ryan asked himself. Her body was so inviting. The way her hips swayed slightly as she walked. He ached to circle her tiny waste and bury his face in her hair. He was sure it smelled wonderful. He wanted to touch his lips to her beautiful golden skin, and he was sure, if he did, he’d taste the sweet flavor of her. I wanted perhaps a bareness, a vulnerability to the world that wouldmake my insides stronger, and so far it had been the case.There may have been a very bad moment just that day, but it was justreiteration of the general idea I had had even while a boy. Given thesame circumstances with the threat of rape transposed to that ofhomosexuality, and I don't know that I would have ever pulled myselfback together after thinking I had seen the pendant break.At home and at Darren's I quite often didn't. She smiled, took off her panties, sat on the bed and we comparedpussies. After a short time, she put on her panties, told me to get dressedand left.I picked out a tiny pink thong, short denim skirt and a tight white tanktop. I put on my makeup and nail polish and headed to the computer. Mom anddad were nowhere to be seen so I looked up more dirty stories. No soonerdid I start reading, than I heard my parents banging around while my momsquealed like a tea pot.For the next 2 hours I sat and read. Enough. Enough. Enough. Enough. Enough. Enough. No one else is going to say anything. No one else is going to do anything. Enough. My chair scrapes back, much more loudly than I had intended. And everything else falls silent. The bark of chair legs across tiles has caught Croc Shoes’s attention and even the fake ‘everything is normal’ conversations at the other tables are now unsustainable. I am quite unused to confrontation. Violence is a stranger but even I am the beneficiary of millions of.
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