In Pensacola and settled in to an unspoken arrangement with MaryAnn. She could do what she wanted and I would too. The only rule was she had to be dis...rete. I did not want to find out who she was fucking and I wouldn’t tell her who I was. It wasn’t a modern “open marriage.” It was more like the military in the 90’s—”Don’t ask, and don’t tell.”In early 1976 MaryAnn’s mother moved in with us. I never got along with her, but I maintained a wary truce with old slutty bitch. She really had no choice. Even slightly inebriated I could tell by the look on her face that she was throwing a Hail Mary in the hopes that I could help her get away from the sleazy dudes. I am a generally decent guy, but even if I wasn’t, I would have helped her just because it meant screwing with those two guys. I called upon all the drunken confidence I could muster. ‘Hey, sis,’ I said. The guys looked disappointed. ‘See you guys. Nice to meet you.’ The blond waved them away then slid onto the stool beside me and put. Everyone was so focused on my tits that it took them a while to notice that every time I wiggled my ass my skirt flipped up enough to expose far too much of what is supposed to remain hidden under it. But eventually they noticed that, too.As expected, I got some dirty looks from some of the women. But not all of them! I was surprised to see that many of the women found my wardrobe problem amusing, too. Of course none of the men around me seemed to be upset.We stayed out there through three. I didnt care about myself. I kept living a good life but I knew I didnt deserve it. People I loved died because of me and, since then, Im like this. I cared about my friends a lot more than I cared for myself, thats why I didnt date James when I got the chance, even if we secretly were absurdly close to each other, thats why I didnt date Enzo either, even knowing that he has feelings for me and mask them saying that he likes Carla. I wanna get hurt, I wanna feel like I dont worth shit, but I.
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