’ I went over. Nobody was home!A hooker once told me she had a headache.I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, ‘Are you go...ng to hate yourself in the morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now.’My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home. She bounced back into the room a few moments later with a look of utter excitement on her face and burst out with “oh my goodness, is it your birthday today?”
She already knew that it was my birthday as she was pointing at my date of birth on my driving licence. I smiled and confirmed, what she already knew, that “Yeah, 18 today”. I smiled weakly.She beamed from ear to ear. “Oh my, a sweet little eighteen year old”. She was very excited about it. Again, I thought she was weird! It was a weird. Far too tired to do anything tonight about it right then I lay down on the rug in our room thankful that she didn’t take the carpet with her. I slept all night in the fetal position alone and vulnerable. In the morning, I woke up the sun shining through the curtain less window. Stiff and sore, I automatically staggered out to the kitchen to make coffee. Of course, the kitchen was as empty as the rest of the house, even the stove and refrigerator were gone. There on the kitchen counter I saw the. She kept her tits over his cheeks as she pushed two fingers in his asshole and fucked him. Then she began licking and kissing his ass cheeks. She gave them a few light nips and then spread them wide. She watched her fingers fuck his hole and then she began licking his asshole and kissing it. The next thing she shoved her tongue in his ass and tongue fucked him as she now rubbed his hard cock. After a good tongue fuck she pulled her tongue and went to his cock and began licking it then sucking.
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