"Children," Nimrod says harshly from his rocking chair."I think someone is grumpy," I say innocently. "he has missed his warm bodies to suckle on from...this morning." I say as I stand and smooth out the wrinkles in the dress, then I sashay over to Nimrod. Bending at the waist I grip the arms of the chair. I can feel Nimrod's tension."You have a job to do Nim, my love." I say in a light sing song voice. "I need you, right now," I get wet even as I say the words. Nimrod swallows and reaches out. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.Q: Why is England the wettest country?A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.When asked if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, “Not again.”Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two: one to. Mom hugged me and said, "Thank you, Son; you make me proud sometimes, well, most times."Mom ran around making sure things looked perfect. She checked the roast and made sure she had enough sauce in the pot to make good gravy. The gravy she would make would be to put over the roast and roasted vegetables. Then she shooed us out of the kitchen. So Dad, Suzie, and I went into the living room. About fifteen minutes later, I heard a car in the drive, so I went out to the back porch to greet the. .. every time." Do you like a variety of colors?" I love different colored condoms. They help create the proper mood." Would you want them put to use in ... the nasty place?" That would be delightful; in fact you needn't use one for that entry." It will take me at least two hours to find that many condoms." But you will hurry, won't you?" You have my word, ma'am." Oh ... I don't know." What? What don't you know?" You're a man, and everyone knows that men can't follow directions. You'll get lost.
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