And for me to sit and listen to her common sense, her witty responses.In the second year of our marriage it became apparent that I could not give her ...hildren. It was a cruel blow. I know Anne wanted them. I'd have loved them too.I considered adoption. She did not want that. She talked about finding a donor. I could not live with that idea. I guess I am a jealous man, after all. (Ha! But you know that by now.)We stopped talking about it.I knew it hurt her. It was a sneaking hurt. It was like. I know that it's terribly wrong to have these feelings, and I never want to hurt my wonderful Beth." Of course you are not a monster, Frank," he replied promptly in a consoling tone of voice. "From what you have told me, you are a fine father, and you were a wonderful husband to your wife." I was relieved when he kept talking, letting me be silent for a while."Let me tell you something. It is not at all unusual for fathers to feel something sexual about their daughters, especially once puberty. Next I heard the unmistakable sound of a gaspfollowed by a painful grunting that continued for several minutes. I hadno idea what they were doing because they were no longer making sweetmummers like they had moments earlier. At this time, the other man soundedlike he was in some kind of awful pain. Although my eyes had adjusted tothe dark, most of my vision was still obscured by objects on my left andright. Even though I desperately wanted to see what they were up to, Ididn't dare move and. We broke so many rules. In our first meeting, we meet in a parking lot. Neither of us knows who or what we would see. I remember him pulling up to the car and I'm thrown by how I immediately feel comfortable with him. It doesn’t feel like that awkward first meeting, it felt like… well, it felt like home. I smile at this memory knowing at the time that I didn’t know how often I would feel like this and how often I would say it. I come back to the reality of now and look up from his lap to view.
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