I want to open up to him, but can't fight my way out of the suffocating anxiety. I can't bear I wasn't enough for everyone today. I need to cry, but c...n't. He knows what he has to do to reset me - bring me back to where I long to be.I see his hand unfastening his buckle. With his eyes never leaving mine, he slowly slides his belt back through the loops - one loop, two loops, then disappearing behind his back only to resurface on his other side. As his belt leaves the last loop, my pulse. Rather, guilt came when I estimated how many times I had done it with those seven dogs, because some went more than one time. The number I came up with was eleven! But, it might have been 14. I just don't know for sure. Doing it that much in one session seemed excessive and I worried for myself and I felt guilty for that amount of excess.I had hoped that after doing it hundreds of times, I would somehow discover why they liked it so much, but that didn't happen. I just didn't have a clue.One. I also started cooperating and he then removed my bra and started to suck my boobs. He pressed my boobs hard. We were making minimum noise and in between, he was also kissing my lips. He bit on my nipples and we enjoyed for some time and then he went. Before going, he handed me a chit. After setting my clothes and coming out of the bathroom, when I read that chit, I was shell shocked. It read that the person who enjoyed sucking my boobs wasn’t Raj but somebody else. I was in a shock but I. ”I sighed. “I know he can’t do anything to me. But...” I turned and pressed my bare face against his flat stomach for a moment, and Alistair stroked my neck softly, waiting.“But... ?”I looked up sadly. “But I want him to like me. To believe me. I want him to stop trying to hurt me at every opportunity. But nothing I can do seems to improve his opinion of me – he won’t let it. Why did he even invite us?” I looked around the room I’d never thought to see in real life, and shuddered. “He can be so.
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