I moved to Maine and worked as a carpenter for a boat builder and married an artist named Lee. Neither of us wanted to have children, but when she had...a bad reaction to birth control pills, I decided to have a vasectomy. I also realized marriage was not for me. I started writing stories and more and more knew that's what I wanted to do, but it bothered Lee that I wasn't there for her like she wanted. When I wasn't working at the boatyard, I wrote. We fought a lot. Finally, I said, “I'm out of. He was driving deeply into her before even the satyr could catch up with events. He felt stronger and heavier than he had looked and Ada strained to respond but she was physically outmatched. The satyr wasn’t a player yet so it was just Frank and Ada fucking like teenagers when Frank suddenly froze and cried out in ecstasy. Ada was still breathing hard as she felt his ejaculate pumping into her. She thought about the condoms sitting uselessly in the draw just out of arms reach. She looked down. There was a terrible car accident. A woman was lying in the street, covered in blood. Someone in the crowd shouted, “Call a priest!”The woman opened her eyes and said, “I’m a Unitarian.”“Then call a math teacher!”HOW MANY (xxxxxx) DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?Anglicans: 8. One to call the electrician and 7 to say how much they liked the old one better.Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already in the air.Lutherans: Change?!?!?!?!?!Mennonites: At least 15. One to change the bulb and 3 or 4. One Friday, about a week after returning home, Daniel was staying over at Charlie’s. The two of them were sat on her bed in their school uniforms, gaming. Unfortunately for Daniel, Charlie was doing rather better than he was.“Charlie, you sure you’re not cheating with magic?” Daniel asked.“Positive. I don’t need magic to beat you.”“Yeah, well…I’m letting you win.”“I’m sure you are.”“Well then how about we make it interesting? Like…the loser has to give the winner head?”“You’re just desperate to.
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