Suddenly, he hugged me. Tight. Since we were nearly the same height, he had no problem resting his head on my shoulder. I felt his warmth. I felt his ...reath. I even felt the beating of his heart. I hugged back as much as I can.“Martin, thank you so very much.” He said quietly to my ear.I was completely intoxicated by the moment and lost all inhibition. “Tophy, I love you.” I quietly said back.We both looked at each other. He had a sort of puzzled look on his face while I had a bit of worry on. The memories of the visit to that layby recovered distant memorieshidden deep and almost forgotten, akin to having too much to drink, thenacting in an idiotic way and doing things that you later deny doing whenin reality you do recall.Selective memory is a handy thing; you deny things you clearly rememberto avoid that "Oh God, I did, didn't I?" moment, and also you use it toembarrass others when they do the same: "Surely you remember kissingthat other man last night in the corner of the bar and. I got talking to an elderly gentleman called Michael. He told me a little about his rather sad life. Also, he was in a wheelchair.After talking to him for several minutes he whispered to me, "I need a cigarette can you push me out onto the back lawn it's through that door over there." I was pleased to because I needed fresh cool night air. The church hall being so crowded had become rather stuffy.It was very dark and rather cold but it felt good. Michael made several attempts at lighting his. I sat down and picked up the sheet of lyrics, reading them closely this time. Were these words a reflection of her relationship with Pete? I still had some trouble reconciling the verses with Lara’s usual mood. Usually she was lighthearted, bubbly, flirty, frisky even. But these unsettlingly dark lyrics carried a certain sensuous longing to them that instantly made me uncomfortable, but also obsessed with wanting to know more.There’s nothing happeningThe shadows merge and break apartI thought I.
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He also knew not to pursue it because I needed time to think about everything before I could talk about it again. Our time together was much the same.
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