“Yes, Axel knows how to have fun at all times.”“What are we gonna start on today in training.”“First, you will go to the shooting range agai.... Second, we will spend a few hours going over and working on your hand to hand combat/defensive training. Then, we will have a little fun downstairs. And finish the day off with endurance running.”“Awesome, so just more of yesterday then.”“Yes but, a little lighter then yesterday.”I get up and get dressed and walk with Kara. We spend a couple hours at the. Our sweat mingled, and we could not catch our breath. The euphoria seemed to last forever. She felt so good. She was so wet, so hot, and rode me as a woman who has never had it that intense. This was rule number I broke. No protection. When I realized this, I knew I didn’t care. I had to have her again and again. As our bodies shuddered with orgasms, her with too many to count, the intensity slowed down, but the fire was not put out. I got my head together, and decided to give her a night she. Choose life, I hear the words of Mark Renton from Trainspotting.Choose life.I can't do it.Well, not today.I twist on my heels and make my way back to the car.I am not really 'choosing life' as life 'chooses' us - what I am really doing is choosing to postpone death as life is just death deferred or postponed.As I drive down the narrow road from Culver Down and rattle over the cattle grid another question enters my mind: Did I really seek to end my life? Or was there a twisted dimension to it,. What else did he say? I asked. He wants you to bring the hand held video and I am to wear the yellow sun dress and my black boots, nothing else. He also instructed me to put some KY on my cunt. I let out a big sigh and slumped dejectedly. Im going to take a shower. We spoke no more of Daves call until later that night when we were in bed. I held her in my arms and told her I loved her and for the millionth time expressed my wish that Dave were not in our lives. I know honey, she whispered in my.
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