All the grounding techniques, all theredirection methods are failing me, as I am caught on the never-endingloop, and cannot get off....."I am a toy. A...toy does not think, a toy does not feel, a toy only obeys.A toy does not want, a toy does not need, a toy only serves. ..... I am atoy. A toy does not think, a toy does not feel ....."No one can tell I am lost inside myself. I have long ago perfected the artof putting my body on auto-pilot. I move, I even smile, and no one knowsanything is. We both blinked at the bright sunlight outside the theater. Cathy was firmly latched to my side."What time do I have to bring you home?" Any time you like. Since the last chemo my parents have removed pretty much all restrictions from me." Cathy was very matter of fact."So, you plan to burn the candle at both ends?" I tried to joke, but my sense of humor left much to be desired. I was still not inured to Cathy's fate."Sort of, but not really. I get tired around ten, so we should be back by. Nothing morethan to get over this dilemma I had created. I found this gorgeous greendress in a chiffon material, with very full skirt and contoured top withlong sleeves that were frilled at the cuff. I had no idea what size Iwound be in women's clothes, so I took a tape and measured my chest,waist and hips and then looked up a website that converted thisinformation to women's sizing. It turns out I am a size 8 UK. As a man Iam very slim and about five feet ten tall. So I ordered this dress. The next day we drove to her remote cottage, to find that two of her friends had already arrived, and were changing into the skimpiest clothes that I could imagine. She directed me upstairs to the huge bedroom with a double kingsize bed in-situ, and invited me to set up the three cameras that I had brought with me. “We will be filming two lesbians, and me and you making love if that is ok, then we may change partners and try again”. “Crickey, how long do want the video to be then?” “About 20.
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