The desire was like a hunger that overtook my body. When I was around him it was like there was a magnet pulling me towards him. My body was desperate...to be close to him. Any chance to touch him and feel that electricity. It wasn’t just the perfection of his body. It was the person inside that exquisite form. The mind of a man that enjoyed the dirtier side of life. My hands were cold, so he held them in his as we spoke to warm them up. I thought it was super sweet, but the look in his eyes was. "You look incredible darling," he said kissing me passionately, his hand gently placed at the base of my skull. Our soft lips reached out to each other and his tongue danced over my teeth. I relaxed, realizing it had been far too long since we'd seen one another for him to want to punish me this morning. My tongue danced back and my hands went to undo the belt on his pants but the strong comforting hand on my head suddenly tightened it's grip throughout my hair and Eric pulled away. "Not today,. "You becareful Tammy!, and stay in the group. Don't go wandering off, he mighttake it the wrong way." What could I say? She wanted me to not bediscovered, and I was in the middle of discovering myself! "Sure Mom,I'll try." It was the best I could say. Cheryl and I again walked to the park, but as soon as she saw Doug,her boyfriend, I was on my own. Jack saw me and came over, put his armaround me and as we walked along the pathway, he spun me close to himand kissed me. It wasn't the first time,. We got close several times but I always stopped it. As an adult, after we’d drifted apart, I regretted it. And when he died I mourned the missed chance even more. Regret gnawed at my gut now. Sleep finally won out over the memories. When I woke, the bed was a disheveled mess. Usually after a long night at work I would climb into bed and sleep so motionlessly that the covers would look un-slept in. I must have been restless, but I didn’t remember a thing. The sun was dropping past the open.
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