.....What a fucked up life this is I thought.I had taken my laptop to the states and on it I had photographs of Amanda and I in happier times, some ni...hts my heart would feel heavy at the loss, but I never let it show in my few emails to Amanda, I had been in the states about 5 months when I received a email from Susan saying how worried she was about Amanda it seemed she had lost a lot of weight and was in trouble keeping on top of her job so much so that she had been forced to take some leave. Monica obviously dug the middle age bricklayer she was talking to at the bar. The minutes ticked by slowly. Very slowly, and loneliness soon set in. I rocked on my heels and wondered if the night was a big mistake. For one thing, I was yet to see a good looking guy. The place was populated with misfits and the dregs of society. You see, I like a long sophisticated face. Typical English… according to TV, anyway. Think Hugh Grant or Damien Lewis. But in here it was more Alan Partridge, Mr Bean or. At first, she thought it would just be a matter of time. She'd find someone, perhaps not quite as large as everyone else, with whom she could have a relationship. It had never been a problem back home, although she was strictly a serial lover and she preferred to stay with her lovers for months or even years. Now, after many months, she had not had a date or a goodnight kiss, let alone full, unrestrained sex. And now Qafira was beginning to rather yearn for it. It wasn't as if she cared. " Two of us? What do you mean?" I broke up with my boyfriend too. I was just thinking about it actually. It never should have happened in the first place. But I guess I kind of liked him ever since I was little, like in third grade. Weird, huh?" Nope."And she hugged me a little tighter."I still want you to be my first," she said, after another moment's silence. I looked down at her. She looked unbelievably cute, unbelievably innocent and naïve, and unbelievably resolved. I almost shivered.
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